What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize