theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize