I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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