You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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