Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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