I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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