Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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