small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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