guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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