Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize