you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize