she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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