do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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