My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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