Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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