Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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