Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize