I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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