are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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