we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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