Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
love makes seman taste better
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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