Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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