R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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