I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize