hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize