return my video game
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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