I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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