The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize