the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This baby is an asshole
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize