i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize