my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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