Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize