smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize