I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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