Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize