I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize