btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize