I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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