Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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