Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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