If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize