so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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