just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize