Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
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As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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