i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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