ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize