i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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