Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize