This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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