The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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